So, you want to join a gym. Great!

How do you know which one to pick? Every grocery store, bakery and dry cleaning counter has coupons and contests galore for fitness centers.

Price shouldn't be the only consideration. Training, certification, sanitation and personal safety if you workout late should be tops on your list.  Be suspicious of contracts.

Here's an excerpt on gym horrors so cleverly written by Melissa Walker:

Static Classes: Monday - Sculpt, Tuesday - Spin, forever and ever amen. Pass! The class lineup should shift every six months or reflecting clients' interests, exercise advances and emerging trends, advises Cedric Bryant, PhD, chief science offer for the American Council on Exercise, San Diego.

Locker Room Chaos: Stained carpet, wads of hair on the shower walls, smelly sneakers left to stew -- all are red flags. "Hold the locker room to the standard you would a restaurant restroom -- it's a reflection of the entire facility," Bryant says.

Militant Trainers: Former marine Harvey may be a hoot on Celebrity Fit Club, but in real life, instructors who are aggressive or prey on your body insecurities "can push clients to the point of injury," Bryant says. "And no one should ever insult you in the name of motivation."

Unicorn Managers: Whenever you ask to speak with a manager, the girl at the front desk pauses from her tabloid and points to the suggestion box. If the head honcho is so elusive that she might as well be a mythical creature, the powers that be aren't taking your needs seriously.

Special Signage: Every week there's a "Join Now!" party complete with bagels, balloons ... and strong arm promotional tactics. This club is suspiciously voracious for business ... beware!

Jane Fonda-era Equipment: Not only are they less effective, but machines that date back more than seven years could cause repetitive strain injuries if they were designed using outdated research, says Behzad Amiri, marketing director of equipment retailers, Gym Source. Look for vivid display panels and smooth silent movement.

Pill Pushers: Staffers hawk nutritional supplements with the gusto of department store perfume ladies. "Fitness pros who recommend supplements may place a client's health at risk," Bryant says. Unless your trainer happens to be a registered dietitian or an M.D. (highly unlikely!), just say no thanks.